You want to know my weight why?

Sometimes things get tough when your loves, friends and family members want to get involved in your weight loss and healthy lifestyle. Sure, it's easy to keep track of your own life and be critical of yourself. It's hell when you open yourself up to other peoples comments and criticism. 

I had a lovely friend ask me to weigh in every Wednesday. Of course I'm sitting here wondering why the hell he wants that kind of information. I mean can't he see my weight loss through the smaller clothes that I'm buying? What would be the purpose of knowing the numbers?

He's also trying to lose weight and get healthy. We both have jobs that need us in the top of our physical fitness. Is he seeing this as a competition? Is he suddenly going to lift me up and walk me across a room when I'm a certain weight? Or is he going to use it as a motivational point in my life?

Maybe I should just stop reading things into his questions and emails.

Bet with a Fort Worth Police Officer

I work in an industry where everyone needs to be healthy and are usually following a healthy diet. We are an industry where we need to be in top shape. This is not only for our own good but for the good of our clients. How are we suppose to help others when we can't even help ourselves.

A friend and I were talking about our health and the fact that we needed to lose weight. He wasn't happy that he was out of energy in the middle of his shift. I was not happy about a lot of things about my weight. We both needed to lose weight for different reasons. One thing that binds us together is the fact that we need to lose weight to do our job better.

I have this ultimate fear that I'm going to have to perform CPR on someone. I'm afraid that my stomach would be to big. Or I would be unable to get on my knees to help. Or I would be unable to get up from a kneeling position.

So today Officer M and I made a bet. Each week we will put two dollars in a pot. At the end of the month, whomever has lost the most weight will win the pot. That's a profit of weight loss at ten dollars. Now here is the exciting part. The person who won the pot that month has the option of putting their winnings back in the pot. Kind of a Black Jack double down deal.

I know that I'm really pushing myself to go against a guy. Guys just tend to lose weight faster. They also tend to gain muscle quicker. So it may come to a point where I don't want to play this game anymore.

It's a fun and healthy game while it's still going on though. I have to admit. This Fort Worth Police Officer is already handsome as a teddy bear. I can't wait to see him when he's a lean mean muscle machine. I'm still praying that I win the healthy bet.

About a new opportunity of living a healthy lifestyle

Every minute is a new opportunity to make new decisions.

 



The fireman followed me where?

I really need to amp up my weight loss and healthy eating. Nothing shows a person how out of shape they are when 4 cute Firemen are following you up the stairs to check how much smoke there is in the building. Of course I wanted to be tough, I wanted to be able to sprint up the stairs. Nope, I waddled up the stairs. I'm so ashamed.

Today really opened my eyes on how out of shape I am. Sure I see pictures of myself with flab hanging all over the place. I know that there is muscle under that flab if I am able to carry my body well. I have always been able to carry my body well and quickly.

I want to be able to do my job well. I want to be able to carry 15 pounds of gear without a problem. I want to stop sweating like a leaf in a rain forest during hot Texas Summer months. I want to be able to save a life if I'm ever put into that position.

A friend has invited me the gym. Normally I work out at home. I think I'll take her up on the offer this time. I know with muscle tone, I'll be able to climb the stairs at work with no problem. As soon as I increase my endurance then I'll be able to run up the stair before the Firemen do.

McDonalds Splurge Day

I can't believe that it's been another two weeks on my weight loss program. I'm doing my best to turn Fort Worth Flab into Fort Worth Fit in a years time. I really want all of this weight gone before next summer. If I am unable to succeed, then I would at least like to have a healthier lifestyle and be a size 16.

Today is not a successful day because today is also a spurge day. I tend to have spurge days every two weeks. They actually keep me on track with my weight loss. I know what you are thinking. How can eating junk food for one meal allow you to stay on track with your health? It's the fact that I know in two weeks I can have the pizza, ice cream, lasagna, and other heavy calorie items. Only for one meal though.

I think I want to start letting my treats be healthier things. Things that are good quality instead of quantity. I want treats to be things like professionally made muffins, hand rolled sushi, and nice protean that is higher in calories. I mean who doesn't like a good slice of fatty fish over a grill.

Today consisted of high sugar items and fatty fast food in my diet. I wanted to try the new steak, egg, and bagel. I also wanted something with coffee in it that was really cold. I purchased a McDonalds Frappuccino. I have to admit that I was not impressed with either. I wish I had used my weight loss splurge on something else.

With healthy living don't focus on...

Don't Focus On How Far You Have Left To Go. Be Proud Of How Far You've Come

Not all sugar free is sugar free

Along with trying to follow a healthy diet, I have to watch my blood sugar too. I found out that I was an insulin dependent diabetic back in the beginning of March 2015. I've done pretty well dealing with Diabetes. I wasn't much of a pasta, rice, and starch food kind of person in the first place.

Why give up chocolate when there are alternatives to high blood sugar. Walgreens is a company that has blessed customers with a variety of choices. Today I picked dark Hershey bars and peppermint patties. I had a great time eating them until I looked at the back of the package.

The sugar free candies at the store may say sugar free. They are hell on your blood sugar when it comes to counting carbohydrates. Three pieces of the peppermint patty sugar free candies were a total of 16 grams of carbohydrates. That's a serving of carbohydrates. I only plan on eating three servings a day.

I hate to say it but the price that a person pays for carbohydrates and dollars with sugar free candy is just not worth it. I'd rather get the grams of carbohydrates in my diet from things like bananas, apples, bake potatoes, and buttered squash.

Your an amazing woman

A big part of dealing with weight loss and living healthy is the emotional part. When we are not in the right frame of mind, staying on a healthy eating plan can be difficult. I was told today "Your an amazing person." Why is it so hard to believe the person though. Why is it so hard not to think that the man is just being nice or he just wants to get something by having a silver tongue.

Everyone's words are valid. When a person gives a compliment it's difficult to believe them. It's hard for me to believe peoples words because I have been hurt so many times by peoples words. I personally would like to deal with physical let downs than pain caused by words. They say that the pen is mightier than the tongue. I say both can tear a person apart.

I'm slowly trying to just say "Thank You" when HE gives me compliments. It's not something that is going to happen over night. I am trying to learn though.

Down a size in the lady stuff

Proof that my healthy lifestyle in Fort Worth, Texas is working. How can someone not lose weight and clean the impurities out of their body with the heat that we have been having. I'm really glad that I work 3rd shift. I have to deal with as little heat as possible.

Breakfast
Chicken breast
A large artichoke
Salad with 2 Tbsp of mayonnaise shredded carrots, egg, 1oz of cheese, cherry tomatoes

Snack
Serving of grapes

Lunch
Progresso clam chowder (2 servings)

Snack
Cheese stick
Serving of green grapes

Dinner
Cup of coffee with equal and creamer
Large apple
Banana

What is the proof that my weight loss plan is working? Well I have a date tomorrow so I went out and purchased some cute bras and undies. I looked at the measurements on the back of the package. Low and behold, I'm down a size with my underwear. Healthy living has caused me to get a natural breast reduction. I went from a size 52 to a size 44.
 

Weight loss journey fortune cookie says!

Fortune cookie says "Never compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do." I say "Strive to push yourself to become more!" I know that in my life that I tend to compare myself to other people. It's not a healthy habit at all.

As we live our lives it is important to remember that we are all on different levels. Some may be farther along in their health and fitness goals. It's important that we do not compare our success with other peoples success. People need to find the goals that they want to achieve and challenge themselves.

The path to your personal success is knowing exactly what you want. Be brutally honest with yourself when it comes to weight loss goals. Be honest about your other goals in life. Anything worth having is worth the effort. Understand that some goals are going to take longer than others. Understand that there are going to be some missed steps along the way.

To put it to the streets of Fort Worth Texas, stay out of other peoples business and deal with your own weight loss goals.

Physical scare

Today I feel like my weight loss program and fitness lifestyle is not good enough. I feel that I don't have enough muscle on my body. I had a scare this morning. One of the clients at my job physically attacked me. Thankfully it was just a slap on the head.

I sat there why it was over to think about things. What if it was more. What if the attack was more aggressive. What if I was flat on my back with the need to get the man off of me. Do I have enough muscle mass to handle a 250 pound man.

I know I have enough moxie to fight back. It's actually funny. I caught the glances of some of the Fort Worth Police Department Officers. I'm wondering if they were thinking the same thing. How did this mass of fat handle a man that is pretty much muscle.

I don't ever want to have this fear again. I've been told that fear is good. Fear is what keeps us alive. Perhaps it's not fear that I don't want again but doubt. I don't want to have the doubt that. I want to be sure that I can handle myself.

Some of my weight loss and lifestyle goals are to:
Have a black belt in Kendo
Take self defense classes every year
Wear a badge even if it's as an armed security guard

I need to not have this doubt because I need to know that I can take care of myself to do these things. It's really time to up my weight loss and fitness goals.

Be like nature with your new healthy lifestyle

Have you ever observed nature closely? Have you ever noticed how a seed fights the earth to emerge into a victorious plant? Have you observed how a bird, with precision and hard work, finally manages to build its nest? Nature does not give up. Why should you?

How to deal with misfortunes

The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us. - Voltaire

Attitude and weight loss

Attitude is our best friend and our worst enemy

It's a healthy Subway Black Forest Ham day in Fort Worth Texas

I really don't have a kitchen in Fort Worth, Texas. So I am relying on some processed foods to keep on track with my diet. I figure if Jared can lose a hundred plus pounds with Subway Sandwiches then so can I. I don't plan on going on a diet plan like he did but it does help when time is short.

Dinner
Apple
Banana
Coffee with sugar free hazelnut syrup and three half/half creamers.

Lunch
6 inch Subway Black Forest ham on whole wheat, chipotle sauce, all the vegetables.
Diet soda

Dinner
Grilled Chicken breast, serving of black beans, whole wheat flour tortilla, mango salsa

It's a Subway oven roasted Chicken breast day in Fort Worth Texas.

Not all fast food is bad when a person is trying to eat a balanced diet and live a healthy lifestyle. There are many fast food and local restaurants that try to give patrons a healthy option for lunch. I know that I could probably save more money by making these items at home. Just sometimes it's easier to pick things up at Subway.

Dinner
Apple
Banana
Coffee with sugar free hazelnut syrup and three half/half creamers

Lunch
6 Inch oven roasted Chicken breast on whole wheat with Tziki sauce. Let's not forget all the vegetables that Subway has to offer.
Sun Chips
Diet Soda

Dinner
6 Inch oven roasted Chicken breast on whole wheat with Greek sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, green bell peppers, and more vegetables.

Work is getting in the way

It has been tough trying to go from Fort Worth Flab to Fort Worth Fit. As the title says it, I have been letting my job get in the way of my work outs. I wonder if I can count all the walking that I do at work into my weight loss program. I don't think it's a fast enough walk though. I know that I am not walking two miles an hour.

I recently took a pedometer to work and counted the steps that I do. If I am walking around the campus, I am able to fit about two miles of walking into my work day. That equals about six to seven miles a week depending on how busy it is at work. There are days when I'm jogging across campus because of the type of emergencies that we have.


Breakfast
3 ounces of steak
2 cups of lettuce and 1 tbsp of mayonnaise
1 cup of cauliflower

Lunch
Grilled fish sandwich with tarter sauce, bun, lettuce, and tomato
1/2 cup of egg drop soup

Dinner
2 servings of corn flakes with milk

Snack
Serving of vegetable chips

Snack
Granola bar

I haven't been getting on the scale during my weight loss program. I really don't care what the numbers say on the scale. I love the fact that the swelling has gone down in my body. I see less swelling in my hands, feet, and lower legs. Truthfully, I want to take up less space in clothing and in my lovers bed.

I also love the fact that my stomach is taking a different shape. I'll talk about that later though. It's time to end my shift. It's time to do my last bit of rounds. Then it's time to head home to bed.

Fix that face fatty and my weight loss journey

It's been about a year and a couple months of being on my weight loss journey. I have come a long way both physically and mentally. I recently had a man tell me "Fix that face fatty" Honestly, he was mad that I would not go to bed with him. What happened amazed me.

In the past, a comment like that would really upset me. I would be emotionally crushed. I would hate the way that I looked. I would mentally  beat myself up over one persons comment. I would not eat healthy like this:

Breakfast:
Serving of whole wheat cereal
Serving of milk
Medium apple

Lunch
Turkey sandwich with lots of vegetables
Beef and vegetable soup

Dinner
Chicken breast grilled with mustard sauce
Grilled cauliflower
Bake potato with sour cream and chives

As I walk farther and farther down this weight loss path, things like this do not hurt me anymore. I'm at an emotional state at this moment where comments like that will get a whole lot of moxie. Yes, moxie has become my new favorite word. I figure if men and women don't like me at the size that I am now then that is on them. They don't have to
like me when I'm at the size that I want to be. They don't have to  join my
healthy lifestyle journey.

It's a lentils with ham day in Fort Worth, Texas

Progressive Soup has really made some changes with their recipes. This really helps me personally because I never know how to make a healthy lunch. There have been many days when I never ate a healthy lunch. I'm sure my waistline showed for it because of an actual lack of nutritional food. So what did I eat at home and around Fort Worth, Texas today?

Dinner
Apple
Banana
Coffee with sugar free hazelnut syrup and three half/half creamers

Lunch
3 ounces of ham
1 serving of Progressive Lentils
Salad of spinach, tomatoes, and yellow bell pepper
Serving of thousand island dressing

Dinner
4 ounces of Tilapia
Salad of spinach, tomatoes, and yellow bell pepper
Serving of thousand island dressing

It's a Progresso Garden Vegetable soup day in Fort Worth, Texas

Today continues my adventure of eating a healthy diet while trying out different Progresso soups. I figured that since the company has 40 different types, then I have something to try for 40 different days. I'm slightly worried about the salt content of some of the soups. I know that Progresso is trying to use natural Sea Salt. Is that still healthy for those of us that have high blood pressure and heart problems?

Dinner
Apple
Banana
Coffee with sugar free hazelnut syrup and three half/half creamers

Lunch
Turkey breast salad sandwich (ground turkey, tbsp. mayo, diced carrot, golden raisins, dried cranberries, and whole wheat bread.

Breakfast
Whole wheat English muffin
3 ounces of grilled ground turkey
2 servings of Progresso Garden Vegetable soup with added shredded carrots and cabbage

If Today Was Your Last Day in Fort Worth, Texas.

We are not promised tomorrow. Having years of volunteer experience and career experience in public safety, I know that we are not promised our next breath. Life can be over in an instant. I know this isn't very motivational but it's the truth.

My point is that we can find motivation for life almost anywhere in the world. It can be found through other peoples struggles, in other peoples successes, in movies, in television, and in songs. Nickelback "If today was your last day" is just perfect.

"My best friend gave me the best advice

He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day"

Don't wait till tomorrow to start your weight loss adventures. Let your next meal be as healthy as it can be. Get out there and be active!

Because the hands of time are never on your side

My favorite Fort Worth Panther!

I have a little story of inspiration for you Fort Worth, Texans. It all started when two clients at my work were fighting over a pair of sun glasses. We had put both of them outside to cool down. One wanted to make a Police report, so we called the Fort Worth Police Department.

I had been working the front desk at the time. Of course I was listening to the conversation. I noticed that the Officer had difficulty speaking. As I listened more, I found that yes he definitely had a daily battle with stuttering.

At that moment I wanted to knock myself upside the head for being so foolish with my life. Here is a man that struggle with stuttering every day. I'm sure he was teased as a child. That didn't stop him though. He went through the thirty one weeks of training. Now an active Fort Worth Police Officer.

How can we as people give up so quickly on our goals. How can we put things off for another day. We are not promised tomorrow. We are not promised our next breath. If someone can take on a challenge like that. Why can me not work towards a healthy diet and optimal performance?
 

Nervious about dating again

I was going to wait until I had lost all of my weight. I was going to wait until I was extremely healthy and had a successful eating plan. My friend had introduced me to a website that is for women who are BBW. The website is also for BHM (Big Handsome Men), women who love BBW/BHM, and the men that love BBW/BHM. At first I didn't want to sign up.

I have spent so much of my life trying to make other people happy. I have spent so much of my life making sure that other people were cared for. I have spent so much of my life hiding. I have spent so much of my life ignoring my own needs.

I need someone to go out with. I need someone to spend time with. I need someone to share my life with. If anyone knows my history, then you know that I recently divorced my husband. No one can replace my best friend. I will love Mike until my bones are ashes in the dirt. It's just that I need someone that is on my level. I need someone that wants to be part of their community.

I'm afraid of rejection though. I'm afraid that this man will either think that I'm too small for his liking, too big for his liking, too heavy chested for his liking, or too heavy hipped for his liking. I'm afraid that I'll just be this fetish that someone is only going to enjoy for a moment. I'm afraid that the man is going to be lusting just after one body part instead of wanting to know every part of me.

I know that I'm going to have to kiss a lot of frogs till I meet another man that will seem like my best friend again. I just don't think I'm ready to deal with all the pond slime.

Healthy Eating for June 2nd, 2015

I think that I have not done well with eating healthy because today I woke up with my body screaming "Give Me Vegetables!" I did not eat a lot of vegetables in the past week. Now that I have had the time to sit down and think about it, I can mark that up to two weeks. It's no wonder that my body is screaming and yelling for certain foods.

Breakfast:
2 Tilapia flanks
Salad with 3 tablespoons of thousand island dressing, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, a couple black olives
Grilled pineapple

Lunch
4 ounces of chicken breast
Salad with 3 tablespoons of thousand island dressing, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, a couple black olives.

Dinner
Oatmeal with 1/8 cup of diced walnuts and 1/2 cup of blueberries

Trying not to beat myself up about my weight loss program

Today has not been a good day in Fort Worth, Texas. I'm doing well with the eating and exercise part of my weight loss program. The whole emotional part of weight loss is different. I know that I should focus on the positive. I know that I should be focusing on the successes that I have had with my weight loss journey. The loss of 127 pounds is a big success.

When things go bad emotionally then mentally attacking your own body is easy. When things go bed relationship wise it's easy to spit out a bucket full of negative comments. When the dating scene just seems like it's dried up. It takes a toll on a persons emotions. I'm fighting against spitting out those negative comments.

Just recently I have stepped back into the dating scene. I had been married for 12 years and we grew apart. He didn't want the same goals as I wanted in life. He will be my best friend till the end of my life or his. We just couldn't see living together anymore if we are not completely happy.

The dating scene has been horrible. They either love my personality but don't like my size. Or they love BBW but I'm a SSBBW. Or I'm not big enough of a women for them to like me. It's hard to find a middle ground or your place in the dating world. Then you find that one guy that loves your personality and he loves your size. He loves the fact that you are losing weight and have awesome career goals. Then you find out that he's married.

This kind of information can make a woman feel inferior. Then the negative comments start flooding in. Or negative comments from other people will replay in a persons mind. It's funny. When other people talk negatively to me, I stick up for myself. When I talk negatively to myself, it seems like nothing can stop the verbal abuse.

Your so ugly that you can only attract men who are already taken
No one wants someone that big
Fix that face Fatso

Usually, it would ruin my whole weight loss program. I would emotionally eat until I was bursting from the seems. Or I would give up on my weight loss journey. Thankfully, I don't do those two things anymore. Now if I could stop verbally beating myself up then the world would be a happy place.