Deal with judgement in Fort Worth Texas

Good Morning Fort Worth, Texas. I hope that your Monday is not manic. In about five hours I will be returning to the place that I once worked at. A place that helps people get back on their feet. If you work everything correctly there are some great opportunities here. Or someone can get comfortable and stay on the city streets forever. As one of my favorite Police Officer says "The choice is yours."

This is a very humbling experience for me because I'm returning to a place that I said I would never return to. No one plans to be homeless again. I honestly thought I would never have to return to Presbyterian Night Shelter. At least that was my plan. As I worked at the shelter I saw so many people be blessed with free housing only to return to the shelter. This is not any fault of the shelter or staff. In my case, I had no control over why I am returning to the area.

As someone that was an authoritative role. Someone who had to break up fights and enforce rules, I'm expecting a lot of flack. I'm expecting a lot of the clients to make snarky remarks and point fingers. I'm also expecting a lot of questions of why I am there. I hope that they understand that I was just doing my job when I was working there. I hope that they understand that at no time did I think that I was better than them. Truthfully, I would have given my life for them if it had come down to saving theirs. What they don't know is that I prayed to God every night for their lives to be changed.

I guess I will have to deal with what comes my way when I get to that bridge. It is my goal to help these people any way that I can. I'm still working commission as a job placement specialist. Most of the job listings are not for the skills that these Fort Worth residents have. I will do what I can to find myself a job and find them jobs too.

I know that people reading this blog probably think I'm crazy. That I should just focus on myself as someone who is homeless in Fort Worth, Texas. I can't do that though because I'm all about helping others. It brings me great happiness. I'm all about the happy feelings in Fort Worth, Texas.

Newly Homeless in Fort Worth, Texas

Dallas/Fort Worth is a big city and a growing city. In a big and growing city like the DFW Metroplex things can be hidden. What is behind close doors stays behind close doors For example, for 15 years I didn't know that I was living with a pedophile. Yes, I knew that he had a criminal background but I didn't know to what extent this DFW resident was hiding. 

This was until the ex and I were thinking about opening a business. I decided to do a background check on him  I found out that he was charged with Assault on a minor/Lewd conduct under the age of 14. His victims were 5, 7, and 7. He lied to me because he was afraid to lose me. As a human being, I deserve the whole truth. I deserve to be able to make an honest decision before investing 15 years of my life into a relationship. Ethically and morally I have to leave because this is just wrong.

So tomorrow morning I will walk out of a two bedroom home with a huge back yard to start my life over. I have to remember that the house, the yard, and everything else is just stuff. I'm now able to start my life over. I'm able to take a break from relationships and work on the things that I need to work on. I'm able to build healthy relationships. In reality, I don't think I've ever had a healthy relationship.

I'm sad too. I'm walking away from five very adorable cats. Koi, who is the Mama. Gibbs, Abby, D'Nozo, and Ziva. Can you guess what some of my favorite shows are? I've taken pictures of them so that I can remember them. I'm hoping to adopt them out without having to be at the house. I can't take them to the shelter tonight because then my ex will know what is going on and I might put myself in danger.

There is really only one need that I have and that's transportation. I am a Diabetic with no medication. It is important that I get to doctor appointments, interviews, and such. Could you consider donating to my transportation fund? This will allow me to get to medical appointments, job interviews, and to places to fill out applications. I'll also need to go find counseling. Honestly, the news that I received from my ex has really put me for a loop mentally.

Things I've learned losing 100 lbs

I have been on this weight loss journey for a long time. The diet has had it's ups and downs. There are going to be days when you feel fantastic with your weight loss. Then there are going to be days when you feel horrible. The goal is balance the good, bad, and ugly in your life. It is important to remember the great feelings during this time. It is important to learn how come back from the dark times of your life.

There are a few lessons that I have learned during my one year journey. They are:

You can eat whatever you want.
You have the right to eat whatever you want. You have to ask yourself if the item that you are about to eat is going to benefit your health or cause health problems. No a person doesn't have to fuel their body all the time but it does have to be 99 percent of the time. So save that small pizza for a once a month treat. Or if you can control yourself then have a slice with salad once a week if you really want it.

A taste only lasts for once mouthful
That "Wow" factor of chocolate cake or any of your favorite foods is gone in the second bite. The first bite is where we get the taste explosion on our tongues. Then after that we are just adding calories to our body. So it's better to purchase the child size ice cream instead of the super size pint. 

Food for memories doesn't work
Treating yourself to an ice cream cone because you had a good week doesn't work. We then begin to associate food with events in our life. We begin to associate food in our diet with emotions that we are going through. This is not healthy. Ask yourself, are you eating that slice of apple pie because of time that was spent with grandma? Why not find another way of celebrating a person, event, or emotion in your life.

Food as a celebration doesn't work
Dinner out is a nice thing to do for yourself. Are you going out with friends for the food? Or are you going to to celebrate and spend time with friends? Ask yourself do you need a poor quality meal to do that. My husband and I use to celebrate with food and going out to dinner. He would get extra tips at work and we would celebrate with Chinese food. All that did was make me gain weight a week later. 

Now my friends and I either tuck the money into our savings account for a trip or for some charity event that we want to go to. At the time I'm writing this article, I am remodeling a house. So my celebration money is going towards extras like nice plants for the house or artwork for the walls. I want to create a wonderful home where I can have friends over to celebrate days with movie night and game night.

The important thing is to find something that is not food related and celebrate that way. How about a road trip to the lake and enjoying time with your friends. Make sure that you take lots of pictures so that you can look back on those memories. You could even keep a journal like I do to collect all the great celebrations.

Food is an addiction
Many people do not think that food is an addiction. We have to look at the word addiction. An addiction is the act of surrendering to or giving power over to an person or thing. Addictions can also be a coping mechanism. Just as a person who is dealing with stresses of life can be addicted to drugs a person can be addicted to food. Food turns into chemicals in the body just like nicotine, drugs, and sex does. So it is important to find other ways of dealing with the stresses and emotional trauma of life.

These are the things that I have learned on my weight loss journey while losing 100 lbs. I still have to fix my diet because I am not perfect in any way or form. I still have 254 lbs to lose. It is my hope that I'll inspire you through sharing my diet, diabetic struggle, and weight loss journey.

Watch out Fort Worth, Texas! I have a Brady

Yup! Yup! I finally have a copy of the manual that I've been waiting twenty years to hold. Why did it take so long Fort Worth, Texas? Well watch the video and find out.

Planning to move

I'm planning to move and then really planning to move. I'm actually moving over to the West Side of Fort Worth, Texas. I've spent nearly four years on the East Side of Fort Worth. Don't get me wrong. 

I consider East Side part of me. I know a lot of the people. I'm friendly with the Fire Department and several of the Police Officers. I'm just tired of not being able to step away from my work. Chalk it up to being a Doctor or Nurse. Everyone asks you for advice or information because of the field that your in. That's what is happening now. I need to move into a place where my sanctuary is my sanctuary. Where it's not an extension of my work.

So this is a list of all the things that I need to get for the new place. When I show pictures, I'm sure many of you will say that this is a guys apartment. Or this apartment belongs to a young adult. I like movies. I like vibrant colors. I like fun.

Living room
Couch
Love Seat
coffee table
candles
cute candle holders
TV table
end tables
two lamps
artwork
picture frames
plants

Dining room
Dinner table
chairs
table mats
centerpiece

Kitchen
Beer mugs
coffee cups
milk glasses
dining ware
silver ware
mixer
blender
rice cooker
cookware
mixing bowls

Bedroom
Bed
Comforter
artwork
pillows
throw pillows
teddy bears
throw blanket

Bathroom
hand towels
towels
bath mat
shower curtain
scale

Misc
Cleaning supplies
Air freshener
Fan
game system
DVR
patio chairs
patio table

8 Mile

No I'm not Eminem Fort Worth Texas. Just sitting here celebrating a weight loss challenge. As of today, I have eight miles into my job challenge. I promise I'll be running like those guys that I see on Sunday one day. What am I talking about?

Every Sunday these three guys pass by the bus pass on their run. Every Sunday I wish I was these fellas. Well I wish I was running. I don't know if it's because I have the need to run in a pack or the need to just have the ability to run. 

I know that in the past that I wasn't a very good runner. I have the great ability for hikes, walks, and dancing. I just became a dorky looking when I tried to take off on a sprint. I just seemed like I couldn't put one foot in front of the other correctly.

So one of my weight loss and health goals is to be able to run a 14 minute mile around Fort Worth, Texas. I may never become civil servant but damn I want the ability to save a person if I have to. There is nothing wrong with wanting your body in optimal performance.

So there it is. If I'm not doing 45 minute 3 mile runs by next Summer, you have the right to track me down and tear into me like a drill Sargent. 

I feel like such a liar Fort Worth, Texas.

Here I sit spouting words of not giving up on weight loss goals and on things that are wanted in life. Yet I didn't take the step today to something that I have been wanting to do since fall 2014. What is that goal? It's an emotional goal of pushing past my self doubt and give a Fort Worth Police Officer my telephone number.

I hadn't seen him since March 2014. Then all of a sudden he shows up at the front door of my work. I tell you it was as if he wasn't gone at all. We dealt with the issue at hand professionally. We smiled and chatted as if I had seen him yesterday.

Then something happened that I never got to do in the past. He actually looked me straight in the eyes tonight. Usually I could never get his attention because an old co-worker was more outgoing then I was. The co-worker is gone. I've taken her place in command of the situations that happen at the shelter at night. Those milk chocolate brown eyes.

It's like he's got those claws into me all over again. I thought I had let the possibility of a date go as four months has passed by. I couldn't step up to the line though. I really don't want to give him my number at work because it's unprofessional. I do want to give him my number.

Then the self doubt sets in.

What if he doesn't like large women.

What if he's afraid the guys will tease him. I mean my co-worker was trying to set him up with someone. Possibly me. From what I hear his partners gave a resounding yes that he was a single man.

What if I'm too wild for him. He seems like a quiet country guy. Well except for the story of him going toe to toe with a drunk man on one of his calls when he was just out of the academy. I like men that are fist and elbows.

What if he doesn't like the cherry red hair?

What if he doesn't want a loud aggressive female? Yet he did burst out laughing when I shared one of my close calls at work. A woman was mentally ill. She threatened to kick me up side the head. I told her to try it.

In truth..I've been hurt so much...I have an adamant fear of rejection. But I can't go another day without knowing either he likes me or he doesn't want anything to do with me.
 

Cholesterol smesterol

Did you know that the cholesterol in your foods may have a little effect on your blood cholesterol. In the past the cap on cholesterol in a healthy diet was 300 milligrams. Now experts are saying that what people should be watching is the saturated fats and trans fats in their diet.

What does that mean? It's time to cut down on the red meat, processed meats, and lunch meats. It's time to start reading the labels. You will be surprised at what actually has hydrogenated oil in it. You don't actually think that's milk your eating when you eat Kool whip.

We have become a society of convenience. This evidence is showing around our belt, thighs, and upper arms. More people are become ill today with Cancers because of the processed food.

As being of the 14th largest cities in the United States, I think we should be one of the healthiest. I know I'm not the greatest Fort Worth Texan role model. Let's step away from the packaged and fast foods.

Where's the healthy meal plans

I know that I have been lacking in providing healthy meal plans. It's not that I don't have them. There is no way that I could have lost 130 pounds of fat without them. There is no way that I'm going to lose another 130 pounds of fat without them. The truth is...

I just haven't organized all 365 days of them. Well more than that really. I have meal plans from March 2014 till today. The are written down on emails, napkins, small pieces of paper, and other little things. 

I do make this promise to my readers though. There will be a daily meal plan, weight loss journal, and work out program for each day of the week. I'm just in the process of transferring everything over to Fort Worth Flab 2 Fit.

I could always use some healthy meal plan suggestions. So while I'm typing, typing, working out and typing, share your favorite meal in the comment section!!!

Don't give up Fort Worth, Texas losers!

How can we who have full use of our limbs give up on obtaining optimal health. Why do I make this statement? There are some people out there who are doing some amazing things. Yet others don't want to make the time to put in a 10-30 minute work out. I'm not trying to criticize anyone. I'm just trying to make a point.

I have a friend who was in the military. He now runs around with fit and younger military men. He's a trauma care instructor. If you could see the things that he teaches, it's amazing.

Just recently he posted pictures of a bruised knee. He's an avid mountain climber. The caption of the picture talked about how he was 20 feet in the air and how his friends laughed when a prosthetic fell off. All I could think was "Wow"

What an inspiration from a man that wasn't trying to be an inspiration. A man that is in his late 40's or early 50's. He runs around in the desert with these young guys and obviously keeps up with them. Then to find out that he either has a prosthetic arm or leg.

How can someone not be inspired.

I'll take 75% muscle over weight loss any day

It's time for a celebration Fort Worth, Texas! At least I think I deserve a little bit of celebrating. I'm not going to indulge in anything stupid. I think I'll take my happy behind over to Ridgemar Mall for one of the hour long acupressure sessions. I wish I could find someone who knew how to perform Reiki or Cupping. 

What am I celebrating?

I'm currently 420 lbs (Celebrating a 130 pound weight loss as of today)

220 lbs is muscle

I can't believe that my body is literally 50 percent muscle.

This brings up the thought...what if I weighed 300 lbs and 75 percent was muscle? I'm sure I would definitely have a different body shape. 

Does the universe know my weight loss goals?

I woke up this morning and found this in my Fort Worth, Texas newsletter. It's a little snippet of Astrology that really hit me upside the head.

"Your strong imagination provides an innovative spark, turning the dark future into a place you can get glimpses of. Use those glimpses to shape your appearance. Maneuver as you step towards the career you want."

I'm sitting here really asking myself "What the hell?" 

It's just a scary coincidence that I've been having dreams about my body taking shape to where I want it to be. I've also been having active dreams. Sometimes these dreams involve a healthier body and possible careers at the same time. Dreams of saving peoples lives, protecting people at work, and talking shop with fellow Public Service/Public Safety personnel. 

All the while I get some glimpse of a changed body part. One moment I'm running on the east side of Fort Worth, Texas. The next dream I'm doing yoga in my back yard. The next dream, I'm biking home from work to the West Side of Fort Worth, Texas. The next dream I'm paddle boarding on the Trinity.

Yeah...it's going to be an interesting year of weight loss, healthy eating, and body shaping in Fort Worth, Texas.

Persuing a dream in Fort Worth, Texas

Someone once said that as soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning. This quote about goals, life, and success can not be farther from the truth. I once lived a very boring, sad, and mediocre life. I had dreams but I never spent the energy to pursue them.

Everything does have meaning, now that I've started to pursue dreams and goals in my life. Every decision that I make has an important meaning in my life. No longer are the days where I don't care anymore. No longer are the days where I'll idly let the sun rise and set in the city.

What did my healthy meals look like today?

Dinner
Coffee with equal and 4 creamers
Apple
Banana
Instant Ramen soup

Snack
Serving of baby carrot
Serving of peanuts

Lunch
Serving of three meat lasagna
Salad with ranch dressing

Snack
Serving of baby carrots
Serving of peanuts

Breakfast
Grilled Talapia Sandwich on a whole wheat hamburger bun, lettuce, pickles, grilled onions, and grilled mushrooms
10 baked French fries (1/2 russet potato with a little bit of olive oil and then baked)


I hope you had a healthy and happy day in the city of Fort Worth!

Finding a place to walk in Fort Worth, Texas

I don't feel safe walking in Fort Worth, Texas. I see people running around all the time. I just don't see how they feel safe on the streets. I don't live in the greatest neighborhood. I've been blessed <sarcasm> to live on the East Side of Fort Worth, Texas. Yes, it's a neighborhood of drug deals and prostitution.

Today my best friend and I did a lot of walking. I took the mile long walk from 7-11 to my studio apartment. Then we decided that we were going to go to the zoo. So we walked to Ol' Pancake House to the entrance to the zoo. We passed by the river. It was a great place to walk.

I still did not feel comfortable in the area even though we were on the West Side of Fort Worth, Texas. So I guess I have a new adventure on my road to health and weight loss. I want to find a walking group or path to walk when Spring 2016 arrives to the city. Or perhaps fellow panthers will get excited about their health and join me on the river trails.

 

It's a simple meal tonight in Fort Worth, Texas

The adventures of weight loss in Fort Worth, Texas is so much easier when you have people to support you in your efforts. On another website, I posted my successes, short term goals, and long term goals were. I was really surprised about the people that spoke up about my healthy eating and my meal plans.

Of course there were men and women who said that I didn't need to lose any more weight. That it was the personality that mattered. I was very humbled when I was told that I have a great spirit. We are our own worse enemy even when it comes to judging our own character. I tend to be really hard on myself.

What was on the menu today for my diet

Dinner:
Six inch Subway Turkey breast sub
2 vegetable egg rolls

Snack
Serving of baby carrots
Donut

Lunch
Six inch Subway Turkey breast sub
3 ounces of grilled chicken
1/4 cup of baked beans

Snack
Serving of baby carrots

Breakfast
4 ounces of grilled chicken
Coffee with 4 Tbsp creamer and equal
1/4 cup of baked beans

That was my day of healthy eating in Fort Worth, Texas. How are you doing with your weight loss?

Took the long way home in Fort Worth Texas

Usually on Friday mornings, I head to the local check cashing spot in Fort Worth, Texas. Then I jump on the bus and head home. I had a lot of energy today. I decided to take the long way home. I walked the five blocks. At 8 a.m. in the morning, I already had sweat pouring from my pores. It feels good to cram activity into whatever space I can on a busy day.

What was my healthy eating plan for the day?

Dinner
Apple
Banana
Coffee with 4 creamer cups and equal

Snack
Serving of baby carrots and a serving of ranch dressing

Lunch
4 ounces of grilled chicken
1 cup of cauliflower
1 Tbsp of cream cheese
1 Tbsp of sour cream

Snack
Serving of green grapes
Cheese stick

Breakfast
4 ounces of grilled beef
1/4 cup of baked beans
1/2 large potato
1 Tbsp of sour cream

A day full of regrets

I know as someone who is trying to also be a teacher of healthy eating habits. I shouldn't really write about having a day of regrets. I would rather be honest about my weight loss adventures. There are going to be days when there seems like there is a cloud over your head.

A person would think that this is a good thing in Fort Worth, Texas. At least I have shade from the heat. I don't have protection from the pain that I feel in my heart though. Today was indeed a tough day of battling those internal wars. It's made worse by coming home to an empty apartment.

There are just some things that I should have done when I was younger that would affect me greatly today. I know that everything happens for a reason be it either good or bad. It just makes me angry sometimes thinking about the tenure I would have as a Medic or Law Enforcement Officer. I would have 23 years experience if I had not talked myself out of it.

The excuses for not being a Medic? I don't like the sight of blood. I'm not thin enough at 220 pounds. I wouldn't be able to give someone CPR. Yet, I see Medics every day who are the size I was back then. I have no problem dealing with blood or injuries. Actually I'm the one who's grabbing the gloves at applying pressure to wounds till EMS gets to the shelter.

The excuses for not being a Law Enforcement Officer. I'm not thin enough. I don't like to run. I can't run as fast as the other little cadets. Now at 43 years old. It's too late.

So my life is filled with being the best Security Supervisor as I can be. I mean I do have a lot to handle. I really like my job. Even on the days when I'm running around on my feet for several hours. I just wish I had done more or want to find ways of doing more.

Remember that your a sexy Fort Worth Texas woman

Sometimes I wonder what the Fort Worth Police Officers and Fort Worth Fire Department think of me when they come to an emergency call at my work. I know some of them are shaking their heads. I've gotten some not so great looks that have well...made me cry.

I don't cry often but I was having a really bad day. The look was just icing an a nasty flavored cake. It was one of those looks that started from your head, went to your toes, and then met at your eyes with a smirk on his face.

I have a friend in my life. How long has our friendship been? Is it really going on two months. Wow it's been a great two months so far. He's not a LEO, Fireman, or part of the EMS in the DFW area. But he sent me this text. I want to hold on to it for when I have those days when I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror.

"You are My Lil Red. You are a girlie girl bad ass Wolf tamer all wrapped up in a &^%$ sexy curvy package."

It's actually funny that he put the term wolf tamer. How did I get the nickname wolf tamer? My friend and I call the local...well let me break it down completely

Motorcycle cops - Copcycles (another story to share)
Fort Worth Police Officers - Panthers on the prowl
Constables - Big Chief
Sherriff - Long Horns
K-9  - Sniffers
Mounted Police - Cowboys
Fire Department - Howling Wolves (Because of the siren)
Medstar - Goldies (as in gold stars)

So how did I become the wolf tamer of Fort Worth, Texas? Well I have a love/hate relationship with some of the men at Station 2 and 14. I always try to be professional but there are some days when I'm not going to back down verbally.

At first I was on my jobs cleaning crew. I got yelled at by an Engineer/Medic for walking in and out of a door. I told him that I was doing my job and he yelled back that he was doing his. Then there was another incident where the man was just making rude comment. I can understand that being woken up at 4 a.m. is not fun. When your in one of my buildings, at least treat me with the respect that I give you.



 

The best inspiration for weight loss....

Someone once said that the best inspiration comes from within. The same can be said about the best inspiration for weight loss and eating a healthy diet. The inspiration has to come from within yourself. Family, Friends, and Lovers are great support when it comes to a persons weight loss goals.

When it come to getting out of bed to go for that walk, it's going to be only you. When its time to push yourself to achieving that 12 minute mile run, its going to be your feet pounding the pavement. So wake up DFW! Wake up Fort Worth, Texas! It's time to inspire yourself to do great things.

I know that this is easier said than done. A friend once told me to focus on the positive. One day I had to stop exercising because I had a small tear in the tendon in my foot. Focus on the positive he says "I see that you had three days where you had great work outs and healthy eating days." Has the light bulb in your brain gone off yet?

An inspiration can be anything!

• Clothes that you look forward to wearing
• A journal of your progress
• Pictures of your progress
• A location that you want to take
• Pictures of family members that you want to spend more time with
• Quotes that are inspiring themselves
• Videos of people who have succeeded
• Books on people who have succeeded in life

It's a happy family day in Fort Worth, Texas

When a person has been on a healthy eating plan for a year. They tend to start craving the foods that are healthy for them. For example, I've gotten into the habit of getting a cup of coffee and piece of fruit from our local 7/11 each morning after work. Not only does this give me about a five block walk but I get to check out all the local firemen and police officers getting their morning coffee. 

Then there are days like today where my body is seriously craving healthy foods. There are days in Fort Worth, Texas where I want to steam and eat every vegetable in sight. More than likely, my diet is not completely balanced yet and I'm leaving out important vitamins. I need to plan on putting more fruits and vegetables into my meals.

Dinner
Apple
Banana
Coffee with creamer and sweetner
Bottle of water

Lunch
Six crackers
Serving of Progresso Clam Chowder
5 extra steamed shrimp

Dinner
Egg Roll
2 Pot Stickers
Steamed Seafood with broccoli, onions, water chestnuts, diced carrots in a white sauce

I hope you have a healthy diet and fitness plan in Fort Worth, Texas today!